joy of the lord

This past year has been one of

great change,

great growth,

great sorrow,

and great joy.

But most of all 

great healing,

and rebuilding.

It has been an absolute surrender of all.

I've likened it to me being moved by remote control.

With God up there holding the remote.

Infinite trust, and a child-like faith.
And a backwards free-fall into his arms.

Because I know he never fails, and is always faithful.
And he just keeps holding me through it all.

Before this experience in a lot of circumstances I'd surrender, 

but then I'd return to thinking, researching, you know, not fully 100 percent releasing it.

But in an instant He transformed me and has given me opportunity

to practice this surrender all year long.  

I suspect, it'll be all life long.  

And it is the most freeing, and beautiful experience.

I am forever changed, and forever grateful.

And my closeness to Christ has gone to a level I wouldn't trade for anything.

He and I together we've dug in and done massive surgery.

And I've felt him building me back together brick by brick, a stronger warrior for him.

Going back and looking over some of my writing here I am annoyed at the over-thinking I see on the screen.  But I won't get rid of it, because it's testament to change and growth.  And I'll give that girl grace.  Because that girl did not yet know, or see the whole picture.  And so many things that didn't add up and didn't make sense that she was trying to fix, and repair, and lay at Jesus' feet.
The light has flooded in with truth and now those things have been released.

But back to the title of this post.

The JOY of the LORD.

I know I'm being a tad cryptic. But just know that this year has been so filled with beauty from ashes and restoration for me.  And I sorta just want to shout from the roof tops how amazing God is.  How he has provided, and paved, and protected, and shown me his great love in small and big ways.

And through it all my friends would say, "Sometimes we forget all you're going through because you just keep holding it together and smiling."  And I say it is because I have learned what it really means to have the joy of the Lord as my strength.  Truly that has sustained me.  And every single night, after getting my kids to bed, and cleaning up I sit down, and I am happy.
I am grateful.
And I do not forget to count my stones of remembrance for all He has done.

In a very random connection I was at a birthday celebration for a sweet friend recently. It was a surprise backyard movie party.  Her favorite movie is Mary Poppins.  So the stage was set, and we had the most wonderful time celebrating, singing, talking, and laughing.

And speaking of laughing, that scene where they float to the ceiling every time they laugh led to some discussion, and a statement that just confirmed what I feel about finding joy in the Lord.

A friend said, "What if we really did float when we laugh?"

And another replied, "Well if we did, we'd have to get Jackie down from the moon."

Down from the moon.

I like that.

And I think I don't want to come down from the moon.

Happy three-day weekend friends.
I hope you find moments to laugh to the moon too.