did you know

This time of year I become an awards show widow.
This is the 20th Academy Awards show my husband has worked.

Though super grateful for the work, he really didn't want to leave us today.

And I didn't want him to leave either.

We used to both work these shows.

I would produce the fashion packages and pieces about where they keep their oscars.

It was fun.  And I dreamed of one day wearing a Badgley Mischka dress.

I thought their designs were oh so beautiful.

It's interesting how much your life changes.

Today I dealt with a poop issue, attitude adjustment, and anxiety over school resuming.

We actually had to abruptly leave whole foods where we met a friend for dinner due to behavior.

I don't even manage to watch the red carpet anymore, I'll just see the recap at some point.

But it's ok, because motherhood is a higher calling.  I know that.

I just need to remind myself sometimes when in the thick of the messy and ugly stuff.

It helps when I get texts from my husband saying,

"Thinking of you...miss you."

Sometimes I miss my old life.  I'll admit, nine years ago I was yearning to go back.

But was that something that was building for the kingdom of God?  Hardly.

Am I now? I have to believe I am.

Even though some days it feels like I'm not sure I'm getting through or making a difference.

I pray that all I'm pouring into these little lives is for God's glory and that He'll use them mightily.

I know He sees the sacrifices we make as moms.

And I know the award that matters will come when He says,

"Well done, good and faithful servant."