what is...

the best use of my time?
That is the question I'm repeatedly asking myself throughout the day.
Because quite honestly there's much more on my list than there is time.
Need to do's, want to do's, must do's.
So what comes first.
Usually I want to do something creative.
But I know I need to get dinner started so it's ready later.
Or those thank you notes.  Geesh. Still not finished from Christmas.
I hate how they linger and then it becomes so late I'm embarrassed to even send them.

And then there's the flu.
Yes, the flu has hit in our home.
Two girls down.
And absolutely everything wiped off our plate in terms
of appointments and classes and many of the to-do's.
Yesterday was spent like this.

And even though I did a lot of making soup and homeopathic concoctions
and cleaning dirty dishes.  Always dirty dishes.

The day was all about rest.

And much of the same is slated for today.

And my mind is wondering what is the best use of my time.
I have a couple of projects brewing.  And many to-do's I could tackle.

But sometimes the best use is actually doing none of them.
Just being with them.  Playing that game of life they're requesting.
And catching up on some reading, just because.

This year I've realized has been very methodically mapped out.
Most all of my days are calculated to see what I can squeeze in here
in order to be ready for the next thing on our list.

And in some of that, I have let go some of the things I know are
good for me.

I almost let go of having a chance to get away with girl friends
for a much needed mom break, attending one of Sally Clarkson's
Mom Heart conferences near me.  My husband is scheduled to travel
for work and I thought it's too much to hire a sitter overnight.  But I have
plotted through the schedules of family and sitters and mapped out
time to get away, just with mom friends.  Celebrating this high
calling and being refreshed in community.

Sarah Mae who wrote "Desperate"  with Sally Clarkson will
be speaking too.  I have long admired both of them and remember
from a previous Mom Heart conference I attended, that the book table alone
is worth the trip.

I just have to share real quickly, the irony in this picture.

You see the book is about the chaos in our lives as moms and finding
community and our holy destiny in the midst of what can feel like desperation.

So in the midst of my husband working round the clock, the flu knocking
out my girls, a sink overflowing with dirty dishes I'm ignoring in order
to assist my son with his pile of math work, we discover our puppy Piper
wanted to dig into "Desperate" too.

And I just had to laugh.

I'm always praying for peace in the chaos.
And am always finding opportunity to put it into practice.

"You will keep in perfect peace 

him whose mind is steadfast, 

because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

I have noticed a couple of themes cropping up for me this year.
This searching for peace that surpasses all understanding.  Knowing that intellectually,
but earlier in the year acknowledging that I don't always feel that way in my heart.
In my bible study journal, when asked what promise from God do you feel you'd really
like to sense in your life.  I knew it was to hold onto that perfect peace that surpasses all understanding.

And you know, I sense it happening.  As I walk through difficult things, things I don't write about here.
Things where the future seems uncertain, that perfect peace, I feel it.

Because I trust in Him.  And the connection He keeps revealing to me in scripture
is the word STEADFAST.  Him whose mind and spirit are steadfast.  Thankfully I can ask Him to help me with this steadfastness when I feel weak.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, 

and renew a steadfast spirit within me."  

Psalm 51:10

If I stay steadfast in my pursuit of Him and His word, His will, His promises in my life, I can walk through the uncertain with confidence.  I don't feel afraid.

And praise God, he's always letting us know we're not alone and that his love is one that is
STEADFAST too.

"How precious is your steadfast love."

Psalm 36:7

stead·fast also sted·fast  (stdfst, -fst)

adj.

1. Fixed or unchanging; steady.

2. Firmly loyal or constant; unswerving. 

See Synonyms at faithful.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"the LORD is my portion," says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

Therefore I will hope in him.  Amen to that right?  Right!