the light

of the morning is always so inspiring to me.
So new, full of promise.  So quiet and so reflective.

Sometimes, this light that streams in my dining room is stronger.
More vibrant.  This morning it reminded me of other mornings where the Lord used it very specifically to bring me hope.  Just when I needed it.
And I suspect, my eye being drawn to it this morning, was no exception.

Just yesterday my five year old, after vacation bible school announced
that God speaks to people.  It opened up the conversation about how God is always talking to all of us.
IF we just have eyes and ears to hear.

How a beautiful bird, or fluttering butterfly, or the glorious layers of colors on the mountains, and shades of light are God's artwork showing us he loves us.
And sometimes God uses those things to speak to our heart just when we need to feel His love.

So this morning I rise early, unable to sleep after my seven year old has finally gone back to bed after waking me in the wee hours.

She has hit another wall with her learning.
And with that comes tears and stress and waking in the night.
And this morning light, well it reminds me of this...

"weeping may last through the night, 

but joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:5

I completely know this isn't the heaviest of trials.  With her dyslexia and other learning challenges,
I just so badly want her to cross through this challenge and find some success.
To know that she can do it so that she can believe in herself.

Yesterday was a rough one for her.

And I am reminded how very much these little ones in our care, how we
are teaching them always.  And every challenge is a chance to breathe life
into them that it's ok to stumble.  We all do.  But it's the trying again that
matters.  And that mom and dad and God are all here.  She's not alone.

And I remind her of how she was afraid to dive in the pool.
She thought she couldn't do it, but then she did.

Or how riding a bike is hard at first, but then all of a sudden you can do it.

It's the same way.  This is hard right now, but practicing it.  Little by little
one day it will be easier.

"Remember Dory in Nemo?" I tell her.  Remember how she said, "Just keep swimming?"
Don't you think all those fish trying to swim free from the net found it really hard.
But they had to tell themselves to just keep swimming until they could break free.
"I know you're working so hard.  And I'm so proud of you.  I want you to think of those fish when it gets hard, and just keep trying.
Soon you will break free."

Right now she's wanting to shut down.  She's filled with "I can't" thoughts that bring lots of emotion.
But I know that the Lord is walking with her and He will let her break through to the other side of reading success.

I look forward to seeing that moment.  I'm praying for it for her.  And I'm confident in the midst of these struggles that the Lord is using them for her, for me as a mom.  To strengthen both of us and in the mean time I'm patiently waiting, knowing that when the growth springs forth, how beautiful that day will be.

"And (s)he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds; 
as the tender grass springing out of the earth 
by clear shining after rain."

2 Samuel 23:4

July is a special month for me.  It's my birthday!  And with that I have a couple of fun things to share, including a freebie.
So check back in with me.
I'll be sharing soon.

He Always Lives to Intercede for YOU!

"Therefore he is able to save completely 
those who come to God through him, because 
he always lives to intercede for them".

Hebrews 7:25

He always lives to intercede for me.

for you.

Jesus is praying for you right now.

And always.

Do you really know that?

Do you think about that?

This point was emphasized during my pastor's sermon yesterday.

Really meditate on that.

It ruined me.

In a good way.

To think of the moments when I know He had my back.

He was praying for me.

I know the bible says he ALWAYS is.

ALWAYS.

WOW.

But there are moments in my life.

Some of the hardest moments.

When I remember them, to think 


 He was praying for me through them.

Fighting for me through them.

It's awe inspiring.

It brought me to tears.


And all I could think to say over and over again


inside my head as the praise band played


was thank you Jesus.


Thank you Jesus.

That is my gift #13

#14 A three-year-old with such a kind heart

#15 a husband who runs errands for me

click here to see more.. they're unedited, but show all the fun!

#16 a home filled with happy friends to celebrate my 6-year-olds birthday

#17 a mom and babysitter who helped set up 
 the baking extravaganza so the day would run smoothly

#18 A friend so dear to me, and so life giving that she stayed and cleaned up after the party, doing way more than she should have!

#19 pretty colors, especially aqua blue

#20 demolition beginning on something I've dreamed about for years

#21 Kids who get up and play and get breakfast on their own!

#22 Discipline that I see touching my child's heart, not just behavior.

#23 Getting exciting things in the mail.. including my 1000 Gifts book!

#24 Fellowship with women friends

#25  A week ahead with fun things in store.

1,000 Gifts

After my experience counting 100 Joys during Christmas, I'm inspired to continue with some structure for this little blog.

For years I've read Ann Voskamp's blog and today I jumped feet first, not only to buy her new book, but to join in the Bloom book study and to begin counting my own 1,000 gifts. 

To see this video, I can tell the book will be amazing and this journey will most assuredly be life changing.

Won't you join me in doing any or all of these.  Perhaps you already are.

To open our eyes to the extraordinary in the ordinary, to see the thousands of gifts He lays before us every day.

Oh and to focus on all that is pure and lovely.  We must in order to push out the darts the enemy tries to throw.

This weekend I had quite a few trying to bring me down.  It started to work.  But thankfully I have a God who is bigger than this, I have a husband willing to listen and to pray with me and I have eyes to see the beauty all around me.  I have the hope in Christ that He is working all things for good for those who love him.

So here we go...as I embark on the beginning of my 1,000 gifts.

1.  It seems only right that I start with my Heavenly father.. and His word.  For the thousands upon thousands of ways he provides and comforts and rescues and fills with joy and hope and love.  For His undying love and everlasting peace. Oh I could go on and on.  For today I'm specifically thankful for my Community Bible Study on the faithful servants of God.  And for this book giving scriptural references to animals being in heaven.  From my previous posts, I've mentioned I really needed something like this right now.  

2.  My husband of fourteen years who works tirelessly and joyfully to provide for us.  For the ways he's so positive even through the hard times.  For the ways he has turned his life over to the Lord and completely trusts in Him.  It's a faith that has inspired me and has helped us grow together.

3.  These three kids that have been placed in our care, for such a short while really.  Though at times they bicker and fight, they look so sweet in this pretty light.  I just had to say that.. it rhymed too well. ;)

Each one I see growing longer and leaner and becoming more of the big person they're meant to be.  Oh it's scary how fast I see them changing and pulling away and that is another reason I want to embark on being PRESENT in counting these moments as the gifts they are.  (For those of you new here, that's my one word for the year... which is why I'm making a point to bold it when it finds it's way into my day).

4.  The silly faces and poses she makes for the camera, even when she's home sick.

5.  Seeing the joy of her biting into her first subway sandwich.

6.  Her 'pilly' which is her baby crib bumper.  It has been her 'lovey' from the time she was a baby, clinging to it and carrying it everywhere she goes.

7.  And her teeny crossed over toes, just like her mamma had when she was young.

8.  His spunk and energy and everlasting search for outdoor adventure.

9.  The amazing way they can pretend play with just about anything.  

10. The chance to be with them.  To really be with them.  To be 100% PRESENT.  Feeling well and healthy and not taking a second of it for granted.  

Wearing this hat just because I wanted to, not because I had to.  For over a year I wore a hat every second of every moment outdoors.  With the lupus diagnosis I was told I had to.  It felt like a stronghold in a way.  I suddenly had to fear the sun and shun it.  Something that is so warming and brings such joy and peace and suddenly I had to hide from it.  Thankfully I am in remission and I'm not saddled with that fear now.  I praise God for that.  And even the sun I no longer take for granted.

11.  The surprisingly warm January weather that meant we all could head into the jacuzzi after dinner.  Making this mamma really ready for bed.  But first I wanted to make sure I posted this.  Which brings me to a question.  How do people find time to write all these fabulous blog posts with amazing photos.  I love them, really love them and find them so inspiring.  But man doing my own really takes time.  No matter how much I try to bust it out quickly, the loading and sizing and spacing etc.  it just takes time.  Sometimes I really wonder how you all manage to do it all????

12.  And last but not least tonight.. this beautiful full moon, or nearly full moon.  The picture doesn't do it justice.  Thank you Lord for a beautiful holiday off as a family spending the day outside just being PRESENT.

Peace

"You keep him in perfect peace 

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

He said that he would give us perfect peace.

I had been praying for that.

I didn't feel it for a little while.

When I grieve I feel a palpable ache in my heart.

The physical hole that is left by something taken from you or something lost.

It hurts.

And I know in the process of grieving I needed to feel it.

But in the process I kept trusting in Jesus and asking Him 


to help me find that peace.

And you know, on Sunday, after praising Him 


and experiencing an awesome service.

I felt the heaviness lift.

It doesn't mean I have stopped missing her.

But I've felt the peace and comfort of Jesus.

I also talk to God and sometimes ask Him 

to give me something to hold onto when things don't make sense.

By something, I don't mean that I need a sign, 


but that I'll wait for the right scripture

to touch my heart, or a song or a sermon.  


Some kind of message that speaks right to the confusion 


and fills it with godly wisdom.

He always answers, in one way or another.

And more than once, that answer has come in the clouds.

While I was silently talking to God yesterday, I looked out the car window.

And then I saw a perfectly formed heart shaped cloud.

it was dark and stood out against a white one, serving as its frame.

It made me think of Christ's perfect love.

His love is more than enough to heal my loss.

I feel it happening already.

I didn't expect it to be this quick.


But Christ knew.

And I praise Him for holding me through everything,

 and showing me again and again His perfect peace 

that comes from trusting Him and His most unconditional love.

Happy New Year

1.1.11

This trip has been a gift.

A true gift to my spirit.

Taken By A Little Person (unbeknownst to me)

Sleeping in, walks around the lake, 
drinking coffee looking at an amazing view, 
lots of playing games and exploring nature.  
A perfect family time shared with a family we adore.

We spent last New Years week with them as well.  
The husband is a pastor and they have an awesome tradition of 
ringing in the new year with communion, praise for the year that was 
and prayers for the year to come.  
It's so different from the celebrations you see televised.  
But a tradition I have now come to love.

Like so many of you, I have been evaluating this last year. 
Looking at the beauty around me and sense of peace I have today, 
I praise the Lord for doing an amazing work in my life this last year.  
I faced some of the hardest trials I've ever known.  
And through them all I have seen His hand at work.  
In some circumstances I felt a sense of hopelessness.  
To see where He has brought me today, 
He truly has turned beauty for ashes.  
And I praise Him for the way He has held me up 
and carried me through some very dark days.

"he will give beauty for ashes, 

joy instead of mourning, 

praise instead of despair.  

For the LORD has planted them 

like strong and graceful oaks 

for his own glory."  

Isaiah 61:3 NLT

I am so thankful for all kinds of healing that has taken place in my life 
and I'm so thankful that a prayer I lifted up last new years eve 
actually came to fruition.  
On that night I prayed to be able to pursue the dream 
of doing scripture art.  
I'm so thankful it actually happened.

I have been praying for a couple of things through the last few days.

I have wanted to join in two New Year's traditions.

One is to choose a word to represent the year 

as Alece is doing at grit and glory.  

A word that represents something you want to work on, 

something God is working on in you.

I had been praying for the Lord to bring me the right word.  
I had been thinking about it, and many ideas came to mind.  
But the one that whispered to me most prominently 
and was reconfirmed this morning is PRESENT.

It represents a lot to me.  
It represents paying attention to what is, not what isn't.  
Do you know what I mean?  
I have had a tendency to let things from the past ruin the present.  
It can spiral my mind and my spirit downward without warning 
and ruin the joy of today.  
So I'm committing this year to being PRESENT in the now, 
to not think about what happened yesterday or what is to come.

I also want to be 100% present with my kids, with my family, 
with friends, with people the Lord puts in my path.  
In being 100% present I want to think of all the reasons to be filled with joy, 
to be filled with praise in the now.  
Because there are so many that can easily be taken for granted.

I want to be present in the moment and I want to see today as the gift it is.

And the other New Year's Resolution I have is to join Beth Moore 
in memorizing 24 scriptures this year.  
Choosing the scriptures on the 1st and the 15th each month 
and committing to memorizing them, really memorizing them.  
I have a tendency to memorize for awhile, and then it fades.  
Then I have the gist of the scripture, but not the whole thing.  
I don't like that.  I want to change that.

Again, I had been praying about which scripture to start the new year.  
This one brought tears to my eyes and that's how I knew it was the one 
the Lord wanted me to focus on.  
It goes hand in hand with my word PRESENT.  
It's about taking my thoughts captive to Christ 
and pressing forward toward the goal.  
Both of those are great, but this one in the same vein, 
jumped out and grabbed me.

"Remember not the former things, 

nor consider the things of old.  

Behold, I am doing a new thing; 

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  

I will make a way in the wilderness 

and rivers in the desert." 

Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV

I will focus this year on the PRESENT and the blessings in my life.  
I will praise Him for always going before me, laying out a path, 
and strengthening me with His rivers of living water.  
I will praise Him for the new things He is doing, that I see springing forth.  

I love how the New Living Translation puts verse 18.  

"But forget all that - 

it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.  
For I am about to do a brand-new thing.  

See I have already begun!"

How awesome is that?  It feels like God is talking right to you.  
I have seen the brand new thing He has begun.  
And I look forward to seeing what He has planned for this year.    

But the reason I chose the ESV to memorize is the line about rivers.  
For some reason it's what got me.  
The abundance of a river provided in a desert 
is what brought tears to my eyes.  

His river rescued me this year.  
Oh how much he pursues us and wants to bless us abundantly 
no matter where we are.    
He wants most of all for us to draw near to Him.  
And I want to hold onto that.   

Happy 2011 Everyone!  

Grateful

circa 1996!

Oh wow.  14 years ago today we became man and wife.  It was Thanksgiving weekend and on that Thanksgiving we had 25 people over to my fiance's apartment.  Those people included the family I stayed with in Japan as an exchange student at age 13. 

(Side note: lest you think I was overly privileged, it was a month in the summer with a group of teens from my junior high school.  My parents gave me the choice of Japan or braces because they couldn't afford both.  What right minded newly turned teenager is going to choose braces!).  

Back to the story,  my relatives from England and an assortment of friends and family all gathered in Santa Monica for the pre-wedding Thanksgiving celebration.

  No problem I thought.  Oh boy was I wrong.  I ordered a pre-made Thanksgiving dinner.  But when it was picked up we realized it wasn't cooked.  27 hungry people and the food wasn't 'pre-cooked' it was 'pre-made'.  I was 24 and the women in the apartment who were trying their best to help kept asking where this kind of utensil was and that.  And I just said, "We aren't married yet.  We don't have any of those things."

It was a Thanksgiving we won't forget.  The whole weekend we won't forget.  Oh how much our life has changed in those 14 years.  We've seen so many milestones and so many challenges.  But most strongly of all, I can see God's hand carrying us through it all.  I pray for both of us that the Lord continues to stay at the center of our lives and our marriage and that we are able to glorify Him in all we do.  

As for our anniversary, well he's working all night.  Boo.  But Saturday we have a babysitter and reservations at a 'new to me' vegetarian restaurant.  I'm so excited to try it out.

I'm thankful for how he cares for me and has an ability to make me laugh even in the hard times.  I'm thankful that he takes the time to kiss my cheek, give me a hug and a word of encouragement.  

I'm thankful for our children, for our dear friends and for new ones who've come into our lives.  I'm thankful for the three wonderful children we've been blessed with and who have forever changed me.

I'm thankful for an ever growing faith and for the journey that has yet to unfold.

Happy 14 years and here's to many, many more.

I'm joining Sarah Markley, starting tomorrow in taking a moment each day to count those things that bring us joy!  I know this 31 day journey will keep me focused on the gifts God has given me, especially His most precious gift of the baby He sent here for all of us.

Warriors For God

I need reminders A LOT.  Reminders for bringing preschool snack, for birthday presents, for appointments.  This mommy multi-tasking brain needs post it notes, giant calendars and text messages just so I 'don't forget.'  


But most of all, I need reminders for the TRUTH.  Seriously, how often do those darts attack your mind and make you doubt or forget what God says and the power you have in Him.


That is one of the many reasons I wanted to make this scripture painting from Ephesians about the armor of God.  I really wish I had room to put the entire scripture up there.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Ephesians 6:10-17

I call her my warrior girl.  She reminds me to take up my sword and fight!  

I know most of you reading this probably already know what the armor of God symbolizes, but in case this isn't something you've learned about already I'd love to share this link that explains it in more detail.  I used this website with a story and craft activities to teach my kids about the armor of God a few years ago. 

I once had a friend who is also a Christian speaker say, "Ladies we're going out to battle putting our flimsy sundresses on and we're getting clobbered.  We must put on our armor every single day.  Don't take a step out of bed before thinking about arming yourself."  

How often do we forget this?  The great thing is, every day is a new day and we get a new chance to suit up.  Isn't it awesome that we have this strength that is not our own to draw upon.  I know I couldn't get through anything without knowing my Lord goes before me.

"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron."

Isaiah 45:2

"If God is for us, who can be against us."  

Romans 8:31

I'm getting closer to opening an etsy shop selling these prints under willow of wonder.  This has been a dream of mine for a couple of years (it was derailed a bit by the enemy's schemes), but praise God I think it'll be open by December first.   I see this opportunity as a 'beauty from ashes' for me and a small way to share the gospel.

I've been burning the candle a bit at both ends. But I'm just so happy doing it and praise God I've had the energy and His strength and guidance through this.  I can't wait to share it with you!

I'm linking this to YOU:Create, so head over there and see the other  posts.