Monday, March 26, 2012


I'm in a place of huge transition.
My oldest just turned ten.
Next year my youngest will begin kindergarten.
Oh the plans I had for next year.
All three in school.
The first time in a decade that I could pursue some of those back burner dreams.

Oh the plans.
But the Lord has this way of laughing at our plans.
Not that he's making fun of me.
But His plans are always better.
And not always in line with what we dream up.

But if we trust in Him, rest in Him He will give us 
the desires of our heart.
It's just that sometimes I think our hearts need adjusting.
To be more in line with Him.
Well, certainly it looks like mine does.

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 18:21

I am trusting that there are blessings I can't even conceive 
as I obediently follow this new plan He is giving me.

Lately I've been very aware of the fact that I in no way have the answers. 
And those well laid out plans, well they're being shaken up quite a bit.

I know right about now you're wondering what it is I'm talking about.
Soon, I'll explain.  
But today it's more about the little gifts, the way I'm feeling Him near, cheering me along.

At a time when I was feeling worn down, two surprise gifts in two days arrived in the mail.
One from a friend who didn't even know I was struggling through something.
A friend I hadn't even talked to in awhile.  She heard a gentle whisper from the Lord
and she listened.   And the quote on this sweet little stationery,
well it's absolutely true for me and it made me smile.
And can I tell you how much these simple little gestures made
me feel like God was encouraging me, inspiring others to think of me out of the blue, 
just when I needed an extra dose of love.   

Remember this day where I wrote that I felt so very overwhelmed and so we headed to
the ocean.  I sat and watched and waited and listened.  But on that day I didn't feel
any answers coming my way.  Despite my prayers to hear from the Lord.

Well, weeks later the parking stub from that beach outing was suddenly poking out of my bible.
The bible I use each morning, but the ticket stub I didn't even know had fallen inside.  
I was sort of curious, so I turned to the page it was marking.
My eye went right to this section of Deuteronomy 30:19-20, a section I had underlined some years ago.  But today, in this season it spoke to me in a very specific way.  

"Now choose life, 
so that you and your children may live 
and that you may love the LORD your God, 
listen to his voice
and hold fast to him."

The day prior to this I was sharing with a Christian mom with grown children that I felt my gut telling me to do something.  She cautioned me to listen to that gut feeling, the Holy Spirit, because if I start ignoring those promptings or going against them I will stop hearing them so clearly.

With this verse suddenly being brought to my attention, I felt the Lord again guiding me in the way I should go.  In this I have felt comforted, just sensing Him right here with me.  

So I'm about to walk in new territory.  
I'm in this place of so not knowing what the future
looks like and so not feeling humanly capable.
I'm resting and waiting and listening to the Lord.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 
I will counsel you and watch over you."
Psalm 32:8

As I get older and grow up I've learned how to just be comfortable with the not knowing.
Because I so wholeheartedly know He knows.

I find myself sitting in what should be overwhelmingly scary.
But I feel at peace.  I feel strong.  I feel His presence.
It's just as His word says it should be.  

Through the last ten years of studying the bible,
putting this truth into practice I see time and again just how much it truly works.
Because the old me would be spinning.
But the Lord is giving me a peace beyond comprehension.  
And so I'll put my next foot forward, listening to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.

I have no idea how I'll manage it all.
But I know He'll provide the answers as I need them.
And most of all I can't wait to see Him show up and show off.

I'm a patient girl and I know His timing is not mine.
So I'm sitting tight, excited to see how He will use this for good in all of our lives.

315. surprise gifts
316. birthday celebrations
317. lazy saturday mornings
318. a son growing up
319. the still small Voice
320. spring vacation countdown
321. the girl's made up songs about celebrating God
322. baseball season 
323. date nights
324. a friend offering her help


Kim said...

I don't know you at all but I am guessing that the Lord is calling you to homeschool. If that is it, I have to say, that it is very rewarding. I have home schooled both of my children from the beginning. Although, very hard at times, I would not take back the days for nothing. My boy is in 11th grade and my girl is in 7th.
Many blessings to you!

Kim said...

Hi Jackie,
Yes, we moved to Cali about 7 months ago. There is so much to do and see. I actually saw your post about the mission and thought I would look some up. I actually want to try to go to some more. They are beautiful! Have a blessed day...

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