Picture Me {im}perfectly

OH love this.  

My friend Hillary just started a new idea to post a picture with a journal about how we don't have it together.. because truly no one does.  

We're all struggling with something at any given time.

Even if we think we have it together for a little while. 

Life hands us a challenge.

But you know, I think it's the way it's supposed to be.

It's what humbles us and leads us to the throne of grace.

It's what causes us to stop and pray and to lean into Him.

Because His strength carries us in our weakness.

And when we're honest as women it's just so much easier.  

So here's to outing all the imperfections.

And joining forces in encouraging each other to be real.  

To be honest.  

To show our messes and our broken parts.  

Because that's life.

And it's ok.


Years ago I realized that I would judge my inside to everyone else's outside.

Do you know what I mean?

We know all of the things swirling in our minds.

All of the doubts and insecurities and messes.

And we only see the outside of others.

The polished, perfected smiles and have it all together fronts.

But that's not reality.

We all have messes swirling.

Just trying to keep it all together.

Here's a little secret.

I'm a recovering perfectionist.  

Something about having three kids and never enough time 
has taught me to let it go.  

To make use of the little moments.  

To not sweat the small stuff.

Usually.

I have to confess I freaked out last night on my husband.

Really.  Over the fact that he changed out my computer and now the printer isn't printing the right colors.

He dared to say, "It doesn't matter if the colors are off."

I roared like a lion.  (sort of.. you get the idea) It DOES matter.  It does.  I totally flipped.. because things need to match.  

The colors need to be right.  Really.  


I know my sister is laughing right now.


She gets my long history with 'matching'.


Ahhh.

Like I said,  I'm recovering.  So sometimes I slip.  

But most of the time I know I don't have it in me to keep everything perfect.  Which is a good thing, because it puts what's important in better perspective.

I'm so glad Hillary started this because in my Project Life post I wanted to include this picture.  I wanted to actually write a whole post about it.  But I thought, nah, no one wants to see my messy floor.

But truly, it's my reality right now and one of the many reasons I'm still missing Bella so much.

I had NO idea just how much clean up she did for me in the kitchen.   I know this picture doesn't look that bad.  Trust me, it was only a small section.  I should get more, but I'm trying to hurry.  

another {im}perfection... I gave my kids Auntie Ann's form of spaghettios one night last week.
Because I just didn't get my act together to make a real dinner.

(And here's another note... on the whole perfection / imperfection thing.  I try to do these posts quickly so they don't take away from my family and the real things on my 'to-do' list.  But they can suck up a lot of time... and I have issues again with 'perfection' so I have to force myself to not go take more pictures or to go searching for just the right one of Bella in the kitchen).  

Again.. recovering.  

Forcing myself to say, "This is good enough."

But back to Bella, I knew she was a master at scooping up any food accidentally left in her reach.

I knew that she would come running anytime anyone was in the kitchen.  Up until the end at least.

She was always under foot.

But seriously.  Now I'm needing to sweep and mop almost every other day.... but sometimes I'm not.  
And the reality that she's not here is glaring me in the face. 

Not only are there the regular spills, 
but we keep finding these splotches of dirt that accumulate.

My husband said that can't be from not having Bella.

But we've figured out it is.  It's from the liquid, the honey, the jelly, the little spills that are kind of unnoticeable, until something sticks to them and then they become really pretty obvious.

So here's to my imperfect kitchen floor.  
I could show you more.. and I will, but next week.
Because this recovering perfectionist is leaving this post right as it is.

For now I'm elbow deep in cupcake holders making chef hat flowers and garlands.  

I have a little helper I need to return to.

And yes, we're making quite a mess. ;)